New Jersey Divorce Mediation

An introduction to divorce mediation

Mediation is a way for family’s to resolve problems where an unbiased third party helps the spouses to reach agreement.  The parties are encouraged to make their own solution where their interests and needs are met.  The process is guided by a trained mediator who directs sessions through inquiries that address appropriate issues.

On average, mediation proceedings are quite different from those of a divorce court.  Some specific ways in which mediation differs from litigation are:

• Lower cost
• Usually less time consuming
• Allows both parties to be involved in the final agreement
• Allows for creative resolutions to disputes
• Lessens adversarial behavior
• Allows both parties to discuss emotional issues (although not to the detriment of separation issues)

If mediation does not reach an agreement, the parties are free to proceed to court.  If a final agreement is made, the parties must contact an attorney, or may represent themselves, to finalize the matter.

How divorce mediation is different from collaborative law

Divorce mediation is different from the collaborative process because, in mediation, the couple is responsible for reaching and creating their solution.  They are not represented by their lawyers inside the mediation sessions and there is no contract stipulating their honest intentions.

Because of the stakes involved in any separation proceeding, parties who opt to enter into mediation would be well advised to retain the services of a New Jersey divorce lawyer.  It would be especially advantageous to select representation familiar with mediation as well as standard divorce cases, even though they are not directly involved in the meetings.  These legal experts can, and should, be contacted between sessions.

Many times, parties involved in mediation will verbalize their intention to remain honest and reveal all information.  The mediator prepares a non-binding memorandum of understanding which reflects their agreement.  Therefore, mediation necessitates a higher level of trust that both parties will remain honest.

In mediation, there is no incentive for the parties to avoid litigation.  Sometimes, divorcing couples are expected to attempt to reach an accord through mediation prior to having their case considered in court.  There are a number of states that require them to at least attend several mediation sessions before declaring that a resolution cannot be reached without intervention.  In collaborative divorce, all parties are informed that the lawyers will withdraw their services if the couple chooses litigation proceedings.  This is an inducement to all involved to stay the course of resolving their conflict without going to court.

What is expected of the mediator

The mediator is an important aspect of the process that must be carefully trained in how to handle the average situations they will face.  However, each case holds unique challenges that the mediator will be called upon to cope with, and that may not be covered in training.  A skilled practitioner will have the ability to think quickly on his or her feet.

He or she is responsible for ensuring that each person communicates with the other without interrupting, dominating the conversation, or using abusive language.  Since the mediator is not either party’s lawyer, he or she is not interested in promoting the interests of one over the other.  Even without an agreement stating the disputants will communicate respectfully, or an attorney expressing their client’s case, there are regulations in place to ensure successful discussions.

Every mediator has a unique style and a party considering this process should be determined to find a highly practiced intermediary to handle the case.  Lawyers who specialize in arbitration are much more prevalent than those trained in mediation.  A mediator does not have to be an attorney and often he or she is not.  The benefit of utilizing Cathy Pollak’s service as a mediator is that she can benefit the meetings productively to achieve a resolution that is in the best interest of the parties.